Shame

It is hard for me to write this, to come face to face with my naiveté.  Embarrassing.  The thought of time wasted.  How I let these creeps into my home, into my life, that they met and mingled with my children.  They contaminated me with evil.  Evil had never visited me before and now, evil seems to be around every corner, waiting.

Now that the memories flood to me, now that I know who these creeps were, are...I am ashamed I was so taken.  Everything seems so obvious now, but then, I was blind to messages screaming out at me.  

As you read my posts, you must be thinking, my God, this is so obvious. And, "I would have known immediately.  Or, better."

That's the thing about a sociopath.  You think you can outwit them but you can't.  You think you can sniff them out, but you can't.  They fooled everyone.  There is no one they met here who didn't fall under their spell.  They.  Are.  That.  Charming.  Beckoning.  Warm.  Seductive.  Evil.

They were very careful with who they hung out with.  They kept their social circle small.  They were not the typical expat gringos pouring into town, wanting to become a part of the scene.  They didn't go to the English Library, the hub of expat Merida, just around the block from the house they didn't buy. They didn't go to the Nafta cocktail parties on Friday nights to socialize with other gringos.  They didn't go on the House & Garden tours.  They didn't go to church bazaars or lectures or events.  They did not want to integrate or become part of the social life of Merida.

The fewer people they met, the better.  The more people they met, the more the chance that someone would know who they were or sniff out what kind of people they were.   They didn't want friends, they only wanted enough people to survive, and amongst those people, were those who they would scam.

I was the first person they met.  They were about to groom me, until they met Eva and Stan.